I had a dream last night. I was at a high school, and there was a Starbucks in the high school. (Why couldn't this be real?) So I apparently know a bunch of students and teachers and whatever, but I leave work early so I can go visit the house I used to live on in Long Island, ya know just to say hi to the house. But I realized I forgot my cigarettes when I am at a store buying rice and fruit. So I start sprinting back to the school and on the way I see kids at a pool with large inflatable animals meant for pool time fun. So I run by and steal one from a little girl and then for some magical reason, all the sidewalks on the way back to the school and smooth and covered with water. So I run and slide, run and slide, run and slide until I am running and sliding down the hallway of the school, where I pass cops inspecting students lockers. I hear them talking about "the band schedule." "This person is in band, you can find out when they're supposed to be there." "Oh, look it's posted in the locker." And I'm all whatever....so I walk into the gym where I see a very skinny, mustached gym teacher who I am apparantly friends with, which I am shocked by because he looks like a gay porn star from the 70's. And sitting in the bleachers, I see Dakota Fanning (who for some reason I call Hannah in the dream and I just looked her up on IMDB.com and her real first name is Hannah...weird right?), Keira Knightley, and Natalie Portman. They are all sitting there because one of them skipped band practice but they can't figure out who was supposed to show up that day. This warrants the cops right? Makes total sense. So I grab a band schedule from some random person, and I say it was Hannah, knowing very well that it was in fact Keira, I don't know why Hannah came out of my mouth. So as Keira is looking triumphant and Hannah (Dakota) looks like she's about the cry because the cops are arresting her (FOR SKIPPING BAND PRACTICE?!?!?!) I correct my self and say that is was Keira and not Hannah who skipped. Keira face turns bright red with anger and she then jumps on top of Hannah (Dakota) and starts punching her in the face and Hannah can't defend herself because her hands are handcuffed behind her face. So my dream ends with about five cops beating Keira Knightley with billy clubs while she is beating the shit out of Dakota Fanning. (Hannah) And right before I wake up, as I am watching the brawl I look to my left and see the gay 70's porn star gym teacher slowly remove his short red shorts (from the seventies, so they are those REALLY short ones) to reveal a jock strap, from which his pulls a moderate but not surprisingly large cock and just cums all over the entire thing....

I think there's something wrong with me....